This innocuous book came to my attention in 2005 and it has passed through my hands several times since. I had no inclination to peruse its contents for I had ceased to believe in miracles. In 2005, I was cursing God for abandoning me. I was using all my energy to stave off the hell I descended into 15 years earlier by marrying a man as un-Godly as anyone could be.

In 2007, while packing some books as donations for a book fair, my hand once again fell on "A Course in Miracles". By this time, I had secured a divorce from my husband but was still dealing with the fallout. As I grasped the book, I became very thoughtful and calm. What was it about this book that invoked feelings I hadn't experienced in a very long time? My hand clung to the book refusing to put it down. Realizing that this was a sign that I had better take a closer look, I made a cup of tea and sat in my favorite reading chair. With great curiosity, I focused on the blue hardcover and read "A Course in Miracles, a foundation for inner peace." Wow. That was a pretty bold statement but okay, I decided to bite. Taking a deep breath, I pondered the most obvious question: What IS the foundation for inner peace? This book instantly opened an old wound and it had better have the answer to healing.

"A Course in Miracles" is truly that, a course. Written in three parts, this book is not to be taken lightly and cannot be read in a week or even a month. There is text, a workbook for students and a manual for teachers. I had the sudden urge to fling the book across the room because I was deeply and profoundly afraid. I instinctively understood that once I began reading this book, I was going to have to change and was I ready for the journey ahead?

My favorite movie is "The Matrix". The main character Neo is searching for the answer to the matrix. He understands the matrix exists but he doesn't know what it is. The man with the answer, Morpheus, contacts Neo and offers the opportunity for truth by giving Neo a choice between taking a blue pill or a red pill. Take the blue pill and remain ignorant or take the red pill and find the answer to the matrix. Before he reaches for his pill of choice, Morpheus cautions Neo that should he choose the red pill, he can never go back to the life he had been living.

"a course in miracles" is the red pill. Do I read it and change everything I know about the world and myself or do I take the blue pill and make "A Course in Miracles" book fair fodder?

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